Dealing with an Obsessed Ex Checklist
*** I've been through this - I wish I had this list - so this is for you if you're dealing with this type of person***
Consider speaking to a lawyer or advocacy group to understand your rights around restraining orders!!! I down played this one and it did not end up well for me - please DONT minimize this & dont confuse obsession with love
Set Clear Boundaries
- Stop responding to texts, DMs, emails — even “just one last” message. No contact means no contact.
- Block their number and all social media accounts. Yes, even their backup account and their dog’s page.
- Let your close friends and family know what’s going on so they don’t accidentally give them updates about you.
- If you’re co-parenting or legally tied to them, limit conversations to written-only, calm, and necessary topics. Stick to facts — not emotions.
Protect Your Digital Life
- Change all your passwords — email, social media, online banking, even streaming accounts.
- Turn off location sharing on apps like Find My iPhone, Snapchat, and Google Maps.
- Check your devices for shared calendars, linked Apple IDs, or hidden tracking apps.
- Make your social media private and remove posts that reveal where you go regularly.
Out in the Real World
- Vary your routine — switch up gym times, coffee spots, and walking routes if you suspect they’re watching.
- Always lock your doors — home and car — even during the day.
- Trust your gut. If you feel like you’re being followed or watched, don’t brush it off.
- Tell your job or building security discreetly. It’s not dramatic — it’s smart.
Document Everything
- Keep screenshots, voicemails, messages, and photos of any unwanted contact or encounters.
- Start a dated log of incidents — even small ones. It creates a record in case you ever need it.
- If you feel threatened or harassed, file a police report. It may feel extreme, but it helps build your case if things escalate.
Stay Connected and Supported
- Set up regular check-ins with a trusted friend or family member, especially if you’re going out alone or meeting someone new.
- Let someone know when you arrive and leave places, just in case.
- Keep your phone charged and on you at all times.
- If you're scared, don't downplay it. You're not being “crazy” — you're being cautious, and there's power in that.